Access to a #dissociated perspective
An appropriate #patterninterruption
Some #leading towards a new and useful #strategy
At least one good #intention
At least one #presupposition, which #anchors to a growth mindset
Abundant #I//#you-sorting
Some #pacing


Start with an uninterrupted access to a #dissociated perspective (a helicopter’s perspective) so that you are able to detect the drama indicators such as blaming, disclaimers, reproaches, shame and guilt.

Add a #patterninterruption, like e.g. «the problem is not solved by finding someone to blame» or «I am not contributing to this».

Add some #leading to at least one good #intention, which can give access to energy to change the situation, like e.g. «I want a drama free zone and the problem solved… What do you desire?».

Add one or more useful #presuppositions, which #anchors to a growth mindset, like «practice makes perfect» or «when we know what we want, we can do it»

Serve with abundant amounts of #I//#you-sorting to ensure that everyone gets to own their own reality and speak for themselves.

Top with lots of #pacing to ensure that all parties feel accepted and respected, even when you declined doing the dance of drama with them.


NB1: Avoid the following ingredients

Bad #I//#you-sorting, e.g. accusations and blaming will add to the drama.

Mis#pacing – be aware that you may be invited to feel sorry for or enjoy the discontentment. Such mechanisms may be wanted and expected #pacing from the other party, and they will add to the drama.

NB2: Unfamiliar with the #ingredients? Here is a playlist with short videos for each of them:

Framework for communication and change

NB3: Ready to explore and enjoy communication and change? Try our online course:

Explore and enjoy communication and change

NB 3: Here you will find more recipe blogs